The FEAR

Oh Lordy I got the fear real bad right now! It's consuming me as I sit here making me more and more antsy and agitated. Why do I have the fear? Exams dear reader stinking yucky life consuming exams!

I have to date passed 5 of the FE1 exams which are the entrance exams to Blackhall place where you train to be a solicitor. They are notoriously difficult bloody things and I have only 3 more to get before I will be in a position to seek training as a solicitor. Yeahhh say I, I'm over half way there! Booo say I, I still have 3 to do.

It's a year since I took my first set and considering I have heard verifiable tales of people spending up to 5 years trying to pass all of them (and some not even suceeding within that time frame) I'm not doing too badly and shouldn't really complain. But I miss my life and so I do complain.

However the best thing possible has just happened to me in the past 24 hours.

I got the fear.

The fear is when all you can think about is studying and how it tears you apart because right at that moment you are not. It's like an itch you can't scratch. The only relief for the fear is to sit in a quiet room just you and your relevant books. If people interrupt you, you growl at them, the time for welcoming distraction is now over (the poor unfortunate lovely boy discovered this last night). You examine your timetable over and over trying to figure out where you can squeeze in more study time. You stop watching the soaps and you start buying throw in the oven convenience food. You get fat. You ignore your mobile and your friends.

This is the fear and I got it.