In silent and in pensive mood

I've been far from active in my interaction with the rest of mankind in recent weeks and that state of affairs seems to be reflected here in blog land as well.

It's pretty stressful this buying and selling houses business and I have to admit there are other forces at play which have been making the whole thing a hell of a lot more difficult then it really should be. The two of us have really battened down the hatches and are still waiting for the storms to clear. But things are improving and light is almost a perceptible reality at the end of that long dark tunnel so it's probably a little safer now to come out of hiding.

I have various thoughts on my mind at the moment and am actually struggling with how to deal with these feelings. Did you ever feel like you were painted into a corner and just had to wait it out until the paint dried? One thing I've decided for definate is that once this is all over and we're free and actually making plans to travel and setting up our new home, is that I'm going to change my outlook on life. I feel that I can concentrate on the negative too much, that I have developed an attitude of get them before they get me, and I don't like it. It's not how I was raised, it's not how I believe people should live and it's not healthy. In fact it's making me unhappy. I hope that a lifestyle change, hopefully working in a field where I am challenged in a positive way, and being closer to nature will help heal these self inflicted wounds and maybe even make me feel like a better person. I'd also like to get involved in volunteer and community work as well I have a huge urge to do something positive. From a selfish point of view I want to feel better about myself, but I also want to give something back.

So there you go that's what's up with me at the moment, well some of it anyway!