Tuesday, April 03, 2007

The Bell Jar

I recently read The Bell Jar and it made me think about lots of things. I said at new years that my resoloution this year was to find peace of mind. The last 12 months or so have been an 9 on the shit scale of 1-10. But I am glad to say that I feel that I am definately coming out of the other side of it now.

We should be really going away, honestly, properly, definately, later this month and no I really do mean it this time! The Lovely Boy has been beavering away merrily and has completed the last few bits of research that he wanted, and has also managed to secure a second book deal! He's very clever and I'm very proud of him!

I've also started doing some work that has real purpose and will be doing bits and pieces over the next few weeks until we go. It's good to feel useful again.

I feel like I'm moving on, that I've faced my demons and that I can take some good out of the bad. The one thing I have definately learned is that I should always trust my instincts. I got caught in a trap of making decisions based on what I thought was the right thing to do, a bit like the Bell Jar. The result was self inflicted misery which was preyed on and exploited by a nasty individual. But the truth is that I put myself in that path, and while no-one deserves to be treated badly, we owe it to ourselves not to allow it to happen.

4 comments:

Danielle said...

I read the Bell Jar a few semesters ago for the first time. Sylvania Plath really demonstrated that we can be our own worst enemy. We need to lift ourselves up constantly, keep reaching to ways to meet our full potential. No matter the amount of effort there are results to be had. As far as listening to our instincts you are so right. Mine have never let me down. My intellectual reasoning is not always correct but that gut feeling is never off track.

Fi said...

It's a lesson I could have sworn I'd learned years ago. But I guess some lessons need to be reinforced. Reading this book really helped to ground me. I thought it was great.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes, we have to learn the lesson, so that we can move progressively forward in our lives. Sounds like you learned the lesson.
You are better for the experience believe that!

Adrienne Zurub
author of 'Notes From the MotherShip~Naked Invisibles'
http://www.adriennezurub.typepad.com

Fi said...

It's true once I began to recognise what had happened I began to feel better. I'm getting stronger all the time now